We may become introverted and self-contained or anxious and driven to overcompensate in order to be accepted. If we operate from a place of feeling like we stand out in some negative way, we tend to alter our behavior to in response to those self-conscious feelings. The degree to which we believe this critical inner voice throughout our lives often correlates to how self-conscious we feel in all kinds of social interactions and relationships, from ordering our coffee to asking someone out. This isn’t necessarily “Big T Trauma” such as sexual or physical abuse, but everyday trauma that kids experience growing up.Įvery one of us experiences some form of adversity in childhood, whether it involved coping with a critical caretaker, an absent parent, or a school bully, but ironically, it’s often this adversity that makes us feel like we’re alone, inferior, or different from everyone else. While the negative inner voice can be affected and sometimes worsened by current day life experiences such as significant trauma or abusive relationships, it does not develop suddenly in adults it’s based on implicit memories of trauma experienced in childhood. Our critical inner voices are embedded in our earliest childhood experiences and are reinforced throughout childhood, adolescence, and into adulthood. For more than 30 years, Dr.’s Robert and Lisa Firestone have done case studies, examining a negative thought process people possess referred to as their “ critical inner voice.” When assessing which self-critical thoughts or “voices” people experience, they found that the most common “voice” listed was “you are not like other people.” That feeling like there is something fundamentally wrong with us can come from early feelings of shame, fear, or frustration. While these new technological avenues for self-exposure can provide a springboard for self-consciousness, there are deeper roots for these feelings. Although, much has been said about social media’s link to narcissism, new research is showing how it hurts our self-esteem and mental health, in general.
Social media and the new pressures that come with it can cause us increased levels of anxiety and self-consciousness, as we no longer just have concerns about how we’re perceived face-to-face, but how we’re represented virtually. However, nowadays, we seem to live in a culture in which we are more visible than ever. How we’re seen is important in determining whether we’ll be chosen – be it for a school, a job, or a date. How does it affect us? And finally, what can we do about it? What’s causing our self-consciousness?Īs human beings, we exist in a highly social environment. We can start to change that by learning what’s at the root of our self-consciousness. Many of us experience an unnecessary level of self-consciousness that holds us back or bends us out of shape. Ultimately, it can alter our behavior in ways that aren’t representative of who we really are or how we would naturally interact. The problem with self-consciousness is that it’s often based on distorted perceptions and can also lead us to misjudge the perceptions of others. However, self-consciousness often describes an exaggerated focus or uncomfortable attitude we have about ourselves and how we are perceived. After all, being conscious of oneself is something we all need in order to operate as social beings in a social world. The term “self-consciousness” doesn’t sound so bad when broken down. Critical Inner Voice, Self Development, Self-Esteem
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